Going through a loss can perhaps be one of the most tumultuous times of one’s life. If it happens to someone you care about, you may be at a loss on what to say or do. Bear in mind that they’ll likely be suffering from a myriad of emotions, especially the most painful ones like anger and guilt. They may end up feeling isolated and alone, and this difficulty can often drive people away.
Offering support may seem like something you cannot do, or perhaps you may be too afraid of saying the wrong thing. This discomfort is only natural, but you should never allow it to prevent you from reaching out.
Your love and support are needed now more than ever, even if you don’t have all the right answers. The most important thing you can do is to simply be there, offering support and care they can lean on as they heal.
To learn more about how you can properly support the bereaved, here are measures you can take to ease a little bit of their burden:
1 – Learn a little bit more about the grieving process
Grief is a long and winding process, one that entails many stumbling blocks. Learning a little more about it can help you assist your loved one better, and the first step is to remember that grief does not bow to right and wrong concepts. There is no proper way to grieve, and it does not always unfold in predictable ways.
Your loved one may end up going through rollercoasters of emotions, and possible setbacks that may lead them back to square one. There also isn’t a set time for grieving, as it can take up to years. The only way to help them heal is by allowing them to feel and process emotions on their own—no matter how long it takes.
2 – Provide them with practical support
Grieving may end up making your loved one feel isolated, rendering them incapable of asking for help. They may also end up feeling guilty for receiving help, prompting them to believe that they’re only burdens. Moreover, they may not have the energy to reach out, so instead of just leaving them be, opt to provide them with specific help.
It’s also important to remain consistent, letting them know that you’re actually there to help. Here are some acts of service you can offer:
- Help them through the paperwork process, including funeral arrangements, bills, and insurance claims
- Shop for their groceries
- Run their errands, including housework and child care
- Drop off food whenever possible
- Accompany them for walks, lunches, and other leisurely activities
- Help them reach out to a support group
3 – Simply be there to listen
Understanding how the grieving process works can be incredibly helpful, as with offering them acts of service. However, most people would simply just like for you to listen. Make sure to sit down with them whenever necessary, and most especially when they ask.
Your loved one may want to share stories about the person they’ve lost, and how it’s been affecting them so far. The idea here is to listen more and talk less, so sit quietly and let them know you’re here for them.
It’s Nice To Have A Friend—Let Them Know You’re There
Loss is one of the most tragic moments of one’s life, and can be a form of emotional torture for many. This makes the grieving process difficult to understand, particularly when it happens to a loved one. Reaching out to the bereaved may seem like an impossible task, but it’s one worth pursuing. Make sure to keep this guide in mind as you support your grieving friend and family.
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