What Each Person Must Keep In Mind When Speaking at Funerals

What Each Person Must Keep In Mind When Speaking at Funerals

A funeral is a time and place for solemnly remembering a loved one. Because of the ambiance, people do find themselves questioning what words should be exchanged to one another during this period of mourning. So many people want to express being there yet fear falling short with their message. Some are even scared of going overboard with their words. 

There’s almost no perfect thing to say at times like those. However, keeping the following principles in mind when facing someone else at the funeral home can often lead to a more comforting and fruitful exchange for both parties. 

Here are five things to remember when speaking to someone during a funeral:

Consider People’s Relationships

There are all types of people at the funeral, with close family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and more attending. You may fall into one of those groups, but each person may have had a different understanding and relationship with the deceased. Pay mind and respect to every one there, especially the close family and friends.

Under no circumstances should you devalue another person’s relationship because of your own ties. For example, try not to comment on how the deceased was like a brother or sister to you. Although you may mean well, it can also offend the real siblings to a certain degree. 

Be Genuine With Your Words

Everyone may be feeling lost and confused as they miss the presence of their loved ones. There are high chances that everyone will be tongue-tied about what they want to say too, so being honest and genuine about that would be good. 

Share about how you’re unsure about what you want to say but that you know that although someone is gone, they are loved and will be deeply missed. Getting that message across is no easy feat, but expressing your feelings with authenticity can make your words more heard. 

Uplift the Deceased’s Qualities

It can be difficult at times to relate to how others may be feeling. Everyone grieves in different ways, with others taking it harder than others. It’s best to find something to connect on when talking with someone at a funeral, and the ideal thing to agree upon is the deceased’s good qualities.

Share a memory of the deceased person that the other person can relate to. Recall their kindness, their positivity, their quirks, and more. Depending on the person, their spirits may feel lifted by recalling those moments even a little.

Say Less and Just Be Present

There are cases wherein the best way to speak at funerals is to refrain from doing so. Solitude and silence are how some people best cope with mourning their loved ones, and granting them that period where they don’t have to speak can be a weight off their shoulders. Oftentimes, a look, a nod, or placing your hand on one’s shoulder is enough to grieve with them.

Avoid Initiating and Assuming

Lastly, if you aren’t from the close circle of the deceased, try not to speak over and initiate conversations. Don’t assume that everyone would like to talk or be comforted by words and physical touch either. Many recommend not speaking unless spoken to with strangers, and it saves a lot of the forced exchanges that may stress a person even more at a funeral. 


Keep these things in mind the next time you’re heading to a funeral home or even arranging a funeral yourself. It’s best to allow people to grieve the way that they need to, so personalize your approach and meet people halfway.

Evergreen JAX offers a Jacksonville funeral home in Florida for those who need to honor and mourn for a lost loved one. Several funeral services can be arranged at once so that all your needs can be met. Contact us today. 

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