There has always been the question of whether children should be taken to a funeral. This post will tell you why taking your kids to the funeral can be a healthy and positive experience.
Your Children Grieve Too
Grief is an emotional reaction to a significant loss. Humans are social animals, and we depend entirely on others for every need – physical, emotional, and especially psychological.
When these needs are not being met or when something significant is taken away, we feel grief. For children, the loss of a loved one is particularly devastating. Children often find it difficult to understand why their grandparent is gone.
Children’s capacity to grieve is affected by their age and stage of development, temperament, and other psychological factors.
When a person dies, it is the whole family that grieves. The children should not be left out of this process. They have their way of expressing their grief. It is not always easy for children to understand that someone is “not coming back” ever again. They have their views about death and what comes after. They need to be included in the process of dealing with death.
Babies
Babies won’t understand what’s happening at a funeral, but they’ll appreciate being included in such an important event when they’re older. They can be held by someone close to them or they feel comfortable with. Parents could ask someone to come along who can take the child out when they become restless. A favorite toy or cuddle will comfort them, and having a small snack on hand is useful should they become hungry.
Toddlers
Some toddlers might want to play or walk around during the service. You could create a special play area for them at the funeral venue and ask someone to look after them if they become restless.
You can also try to make your child comfortable with the events around the funeral by talking to them about the funeral and what it means to you.
Primary School Age
Children at this age can understand what is going on around them when a funeral is held. They can play quietly and make good use of any kind of distraction they can find. Some children may become restless, but they’ll be able to tell you if they’d like to go home.
Make sure they have plenty to drink and a toy to play with in the funeral car, and discuss their feelings with them. It’s a good idea to create a special place for them to get away to if they need to and to take things they find comforting.
Let Your Children Grieve
They will be able to share their grief with the family by looking at the photos and things that are left behind. They will be able to understand the deeper meaning of life and death.
It is important to remember that children grieve differently from adults and that they need to process their grief in their own way. Don’t rush them into talking about the death if they’re reluctant, but do allow them to talk about their feelings once they’re ready.
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